Scared of the Unknown
May 11, 2016 § Leave a comment
Here we are about 12 days out from our next fertility appointment. I’ve been trying to stay positive because we are getting the next phase of our plan. But honestly, I’m so scared for what’s next. I hate the unknown. I want to know exactly what’s going to happen before it happens. Life doesn’t work that way, though.
Now, I know it sounds like I need to calm down. We will have more answers and a plan in 12 days. It’s challenging to remain calm when I’ve been actively trying to get pregnant for almost 5 years. I want to be pregnant like yesterday.
Another reason I think I’m anxious for this appointment is that it is on our wedding anniversary. I’m one of those people that likes celebrating on “the day” an event happens like birthdays and anniversaries. I realize we can still make the day special by going to dinner and what not; but it doesn’t distract from the fact that I’m still scared about what will happen at the appointment. I am trying to remember it’s exciting that we get to continue our fight for our family on a day that is already so special to Patrick and I. Ugh. So. Many. Emotions.
Thankfully, I can reach out to family and friends to be praying. I can be praying. God so graciously gives His Holy Spirit as a comfort and strength in times like these. So for those that pray here’s what I am asking:
- Strength– Patrick and I cannot get through this on our own accord.
- Peace– I need this so I can get rest between now and the appointment date.
- Patience– This attribute is one I’m constantly working on. With patience I stay calmer and I can more easily choose love.
Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement. I’m thankful I don’t have to walk my road alone. I will definitely be taking advantage of my coloring books and reading some books here in the next few weeks to refocus when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Sending love to you all!